


An Immortal's Guide to Playing Games and Petting Dogs

by Bedalk05



Series: Nile Freeman's Guide to Teaching Old Immortals New Tricks [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Found Family, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Service Dogs, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, because when you have a group of immortals with PTSD, found family fluff, like literally 1 1/2 scenes, like very light, they deserve dogs, we're here for the fluff folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27886648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bedalk05/pseuds/Bedalk05
Summary: Now that Nile has introduced the immortals to such things as animated films and drawing tablets, it’s time to graduate them to service dogs and competitive board games. What could possibly go wrong?Scrabble and Bananagrams were met with equal failure; most of the group existed before a formal spelling system was invented, so they would obstinately claim that a horribly misspelled word is valid because it might have been spelt that way back in “their day.” Assholes. Hopefully this latest attempt won't end in bloodshed like Monopoly did though.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Nile Freeman's Guide to Teaching Old Immortals New Tricks [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041909
Comments: 38
Kudos: 256





	An Immortal's Guide to Playing Games and Petting Dogs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mgeek](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Mgeek).



> Thank you all for the amazing response to my first fic in this fandom!! I am truly honored and flattered. Mgeek kindly requested a continuation of the Nile sword storyline and I'm not ready or willing to let go of these characters yet so here you go! I hope you enjoy :-)

Nile is brimming with excitement the day after she indicated interest in learning how to fight with a sword. Since it was almost time for dinner when she brought it up (and no one wants to risk Nicky’s meals growing cold) they decided to postpone it to today. Which is why Nile is slightly confused when she walks to their training patch to only find a grinning Joe and...umbrellas? Looking around the forest their current safe house is nestled in, Nile turns to Joe with an inquisitive brow. “Where’s everyone else?” she asks. 

Joe’s smile turns slightly rueful at her question. “My Nicky can be a tad overenthusiastic when it comes to weapons,” Joe says carefully, like this is new information. “As are Andy and Quỳnh,” he adds with a nod and a shrug. “So I thought it best that I send them on some errands with Booker as babysitter while you and I get started with the basics,” he finishes, brandishing a rainbow umbrella with a hopeful grin. When Nile simply stares at him with incomprehension, Joe takes a step forward and gently shoves the rainbow umbrella into her hand while keeping the hot pink one for himself. “If you think I’m going to start you off with an actual sword, then you are absolutely out of your mind. We’ll start with the umbrella and work our way up,” he says firmly.

An hour later, Nile is regretting her life decisions, namely, thinking it was a good idea to try to learn how to use a sword. She is also seriously reconsidering her assumption that Joe would be a more laid back trainer when Andy wasn’t around. This is worse than when the elder immortals tested her hand to hand combat by attacking her. All at once. 

She’s desperately chugging a bottle of water because Joe finally pitied her and gave her a break when a car door slams shut and the crunch of footsteps sound from behind her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Nicky demands, scowling behind an armful of groceries as he takes in the umbrella Joe is twirling around lazily and the second one tucked in Nile’s arm.

Joe shrugs unrepentantly. “We started training.” And Nile should’ve known that a storm was coming given the fact that Nicky isn’t taking the opportunity to check Joe out as he wipes sweat off his bare chest. 

“Without choosing a weapon?!” is the shrill response before Nicky shoves his load into an unassuming and unwilling Booker and stalks over muttering in Italian. Grabbing Nile, Nicky drags her over to the pile of weapons still scattered on the ground. “What are you drawn to?” he asks, gesturing to the buffet of sharp-edged weaponry. 

Nile gulps, fully taking in the various pointed blades for perhaps the first time. Now that she’s faced with the prospect of actually using a sword to _stab_ someone, she’s having some second thoughts. It’s one thing to shoot someone, but she now knows the sickening squelch a sword slicing through flesh makes. Certainly different in reality. 

Something on her face must give her away because Nicky’s expression softens before he releases a low hum. “Taking a life is no light task, and there is something far more intimate and intense when using a bladed weapon,” he muses. Assessing the pile of weapons with a sharp gaze, Nicky plucks up two matching swords Nile doesn’t recognize. “Tiger hook swords!” he exclaims triumphantly, turning to Joe with a smug look. “She will like hook swords and this is why you shouldn’t have begun training without consulting me. Now we will have to start all over!” 

While Joe looks petulant, Nile’s arms protest at the prospect of having to swing around _two_ swords. Especially ones that are so strange. They both looked like long poles that have hooks on the ends, but there seemed to be a blade above the grip and another behind it. In short, they looked like pretty weird and ineffective swords. “The fuck is a tiger sword?” Nile finally asks, studying them with a puzzled frown.

“Yes, I do not recognize this design,” Quỳnh adds, tilting her head curiously and testing the sharpness of the blade, coming away with a bloody finger. 

“We came across them when we were in China during the Opium Wars,” Joe explains, slipping on his shirt now that it’s clear no ogling will occur. “Afterー” his eyes flick over to Quỳnh before Joe clears his throat. “After we lost Quỳnh we would find any war the British were involved in and chose the side they weren’t on.” 

“It was easy since they’re almost always in the wrong,” Andy adds, coming beside Quỳnh and squeezing her hand. Joe and Nicky gravitate towards their sisters and fall into an embrace. Nile feels almost voyeuristic witnessing the emotional moment. Now that she’s seen the four of them interact, Nile can’t imagine the torment the past centuries have been for all of them. 

Finished with putting away the groceries, Booker emerges from the house only to be greeted by the emotional tableau. Shooting Nile a concerned glance, he relaxes when she mouths, _Quỳnh._ These moments are a bit rarer the longer Quỳnh is with them, but not unexpected. 

“Anyway,” Joe says, voice shaky as he draws his head out from where it was buried in Quỳnh’s hair, though he remains glued to her side, “They were starting to go out of style with the increased use of guns, but Nicolò fell in love.” 

“But how the hell do you use them?” Nile asks, still baffled. 

Nicky straightens, one of his Mona Lisa smiles crossing his face, chasing away the shadows within his eyes. “Perhaps a demonstration is needed, no?” 

Stepping away to give himself space, Nicky brandishes the swords to either side of him. “This weapon goes by many names. Hook swords, twin hooks, _hu tou gou_ or tiger hook swords, _fu tao,_ and _shuang gou._ Slowly, he raises his arms. “It is one of the most multi-faceted and versatile weapons created.” Linking the hooks together, he swings the combined swords over his head and into a long arc. “When linked together they can be used in long-range circular attacks.” In a fluid motion, Nicky unhooks them and spins. As he does, he sweeps both arms down, one sword leading as the other follows. “The swords can be used for general slashing.” Raising both swords straight up, Nicky thrusts forward. “The guard can be used to block but is sharpened to also allow room for an attack.” 

He spins and jumps, one sword then the other lashing forward before he straightens his arm, pulls one sword back, and thrusts forward with the guard of the other. “You can hook enemies closerー” He sweeps one sword down while thrusting forward with the other. “And you can trip one enemy while disarming or stabbing another,” he goes on. As Nicky whirls and jumps he continues to talk, miraculously not sounding breathless. “Though you can use them to stab, you can also use them for the sole purpose of disarming, blocking, and incapacitating enemies.” 

Spinning to a stop, Nicky places the swords together with a bow. “So? Are you interested?” he asks, only a trail of sweat dripping down his face to indicate he was exerting himself.

But Nile can’t speak, her mouth gaping open at the ballet of swordplay she just witnessed. And she’s not the only one who’s impressed. Quỳnh has a greedy glint in her eye while Joe looks like he’s one second away from jumping his love then and there. “How long did it take you to master that shit?” Nile finally croaks. 

Shrugging, Nicky steals a rag from his still gaping husband and wipes down his face before stripping off his shirt to dry his chest. Oh, that man plays dirty. “A couple of years. Don’t worry Nile, you have plenty of time to learn if you want,” he says with a reassuring smile, turning his back to Joe like he doesn’t know _exactly_ what he’s doing to the poor man. 

“Why don’t we give Nile some time to think about it, yes _ya amar?”_ Joe rushes out, dragging a now smirking Nicky bodily away. 

“Not in the house!” Andy hollers, making Nile shoot her a puzzled look. It’s not like the couples are expected to be abstinent when they’re together as a group. Andy simply releases a long-suffering sigh. “Whenever one of them watches the other be super competent in something like this they get...loud.”

“Ahhh they got a competence kink,” Nile says with an understanding nod, causing Booker to blanch.

“A _what?”_ he squeaks, staring at her with wide eyes. 

“I’ll tell you when you’re older, Book,” Nile reassures him with a pat on the back. 

“Hmph. We were louder,” Quỳnh claims haughtily, leaning against Andy as the other woman wraps an arm around her chest. Sensing Nile’s confusion, Quỳnh grins. “Centuries ago walls were quite thin, when we could pay for an inn that is. Otherwise, privacy wasn’t really a concept if you know what I mean,” she says with a wink. 

“Unfortunately,” Nile responds faintly, recalling the many stories of the two couples that take place in open desert with a new and unwanted perspective. 

Turning to smile at Andy Quỳnh says, “Perhaps we remind them of the old days?”

“Perhaps we go out for the night,” Nile groans, grasping Booker by the hand and dragging him towards the car, snatching the keys as they dangle from a smug Andy’s hand. 

*******

“Is the pasta ready yet?” Nile whines, stomach rumbling after a particularly brutal training session. Nicky was right, she _loves_ the hook swords but they’re absolutely brutal. Well, more like _Nicky_ is absolutely brutal. Man has no mercy.

“Let me see,” Nicky responds, before spooning out a strand of pasta and throwing it against the wall and nodding when it sticks. 

Nile gapes at the line of noodle now stuck to the safehouse. “Did you just throw pasta at a wall?” she asks dumbly. 

Nicky shoots her a bemused smile. “Naturally! How else would I know it is ready?”

Nile gestures at the box helplessly. (Yes, when he has the time and resources Nicky goes full Italian snob and makes homemade pasta, but today is not one of those days.) Following her motion Nicky releases a dismissive noise. “There was no _box_ with little directions and times in my day,” he says scornfully, waving his spoon around for emphasis. “We had to come up with more creative ways to test when our pasta was ready!” 

“And you couldn’t taste it like a normal person?” she asks wryly. Now Nicky looks embarrassed. 

“It is possible that early in our acquaintance I had been making thinly veiled comments critiquing and questioning Nicky’s cooking ability since he couldn’t spice a dish to save a life,” Joe muses, coming up behind his partner to wrap his arms around him. Nile’s lips twitch. She has a feeling she knows where this story is going. “So the love of my life threw a piece of pasta at my head,” Joe sighs mournfully. “Fortunately I have reflexes like a cheetah and was able to dodge such a deadly projectile so it hit the wall instead of my beautiful face.” 

“More like your annoying face,” Nicky grumbles like an actual child, leaning into Joe’s embrace and utterly undermining his play at annoyance.

“Well? What was your consensus when you finally tasted his cooking?” Nile asks with a grin, leaning her elbows on the counter eagerly. She’ll never get tired of the stories these two tell. 

Joe leans over to Nile conspiratorially while keeping his arms around his partner. “Well Nile, don’t tell Nicky this but I’m only actually with him for his food,” he stage whispers, yelping when he’s whipped with a towel for his troubles. 

“Out of my kitchen!” Nicky proclaims. “I will not stand for such abuse. Nile you are my new favorite,” he informs her before turning back to the stove to turn off the burner.

Joe releases a wounded gasp. “Nicolò, does our love mean so little?”

“You tell me Yusuf, I thought you only loved me for my food,” Nicky retorts, eyes sparkling from where he’s draining the pasta.

“Well I’m gonna go shower. Keep the make up sex quick ‘cause it’s movie night,” Nile calls as she retreats to the bathroom, snorting when both men protest her insinuation. 

Movie night has become a weekly thing to Nile’s satisfaction. A week after the first night, Andy and Booker showed up in their tiny communal room and loitered at the edges until Joe came bounding in to ask Nile what they were watching next. So now, mission permitting, it’s a weekly event. For the most part, Nile has been sticking with cartoons and comedies. They face enough death and drama in real life, though Joe and Booker do enjoy watching horrible action movies so they can yell at the screen in French. That was a surprisingly effective strategy to get those two in the same room together when Booker first came back. 

Tonight’s movie is _How to Train Your Dragon_ and every immortal has their eyes glued to the screen. Their current safehouse can barely be called a house, with only one couch and a table that will collapse from a light summer breeze. So Nile is currently squeezed between Andy and Nicky, head on Nicky’s shoulder and toes tucked under Andy’s thighs while Quỳnh is curled against Nicky on his other side. Joe and Booker have claimed the floor, quietly fighting over the bowl of popcorn between them.

“Look Yusuf, it is you and Nicolò,” Quỳnh remarks, pointing at the screen as Astrid rolls and fights in the training ring and Hiccup almost gets scorched as he stares after her. Nile snorts. The highlight of the movie nights have certainly been when Quỳnh points at a character and claims that they’re like one of the team members, most frequently, Joe. She’s such a classic older sister. 

Pushing away the familiar swell of grief, Nile smirks down at Joe. “You almost got your head cut off, didn’t you?” 

Joe studiously shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth and stays facing forward while Andy rolls her eyes. “Oh no, he _did_ get his head cut off.” 

“Only because Andy is a cruel cruel woman,” Joe states stoically, still staring with stubborn desperation at the film. 

“As much as I hate seeing blood on you, Andy did have a point _tesoro,_ ,” Nicky remarks with amusement as he braids Quỳnh’s hair in a practiced motion. 

“Which was?” Nile asks, grinning in anticipation. 

“That he needed to stop watching my ass while we trained,” Nicky says with a smirk. 

“But it’s such a lovely ass,” Joe protests with a cheeky grin and wink, earning a pillow in the face in retaliation. 

“If you all could kindly shut up, I’m trying to watch the movie,” Booker says mildly, reaching up from where he’s sprawled half on top of Joe in an attempt to steal Nile’s twizzlers. 

“Get your own, heathen,” Nile commands, slapping him in the hand with a piece of candy, briefly forgetting that this is an immortal warrior. In a literal blink the twizzler in her hand and the rest of the bag is snatched away by the scheming Frenchman. Launching off the couch, Nile tackles Booker to retrieve her candy, overturning the popcorn bowl in the process. Yelping, he tosses the bag to Joe before Booker finds himself pinned. Turning from where she’s sitting on Booker, Nile glares at Joe with an expectant brow. The poet shifts his conflicted gaze between the candy and Nile before slowly taking one twizzler and handing the bag back to her with a look of immense regret. “Traitor,” Booker mutters. 

“Takes one to know one,” Joe says sweetly. Rolling her eyes, Nile shoves Booker to the side so she’s happily squeezed between the two of them. 

“Are we done acting like children?” Andy asks archly as Nile starts picking popcorn off the floor to munch on. 

“Have you met us?” Nile scoffs, earning a snort from Joe. Settling more comfortably between her two brothers, Nile allows a grin to take over her face. God she loves these ridiculous people.

*******

Nile is brainstorming what her next sketch will be when she freezes mid step through the doorway to their latest tiny safehouse. A printout of Merrick's face and two other vaguely familiar people are pinned to the wall and Nicky and Joe are taking turns grimly throwing knives into their eyes. “Um. How are you guys doing?” Nile asks carefully, closing the door behind her. 

“Fine,” Joe says shortly, eyes still trained on his current targets. Nile turns helplessly to where Andy is sharpening her labrys, Booker is reading with a tad too much focus to be genuine, and Quỳnh is watching her brothers with solemn intensity. 

Andy flicks her gaze up before shrugging and returning to her task. “We all have ways of coping,” she murmurs. 

Blinking dumbly, Nile gestures towards the wall. “You know we’re renting this space, right?” 

“We can replaster it. Nothing we haven’t done before.” Fuck, Joe shouldn’t sound so numb. And Nicky’s jaw is clenched so tight Nile fears his teeth will crack. 

No. This isn’t right. She’s seen shadows and flickers of these people's trauma and the ghosts of their pasts but they’ve been trying to hide it from Nile, staying in their rooms or leaving the safe house. It’s probably to keep from scaring her off but it’s unnecessary. She has demons as well. But processing the violence inflicted upon them with more violence isn’t going to help anyone heal. Mind racing, desperate for a way to help her family, Nile stumbles upon a potential solution. “I’ll be back,” she mutters, hurrying out of the safe house. No one replies.

When Nile comes back an hour later, everyone is in the same position, and the photos have so many holes in them they don’t even look like faces anymore. But as she strides confidently through the door, they all freeze and turn to her. “What. Is that,'' Andy asks dangerously, glaring at Nile’s feet. 

“Her name is Phoenix and we’re keeping her because y'all have some serious PTSD and need better coping mechanisms than this,” Nile says firmly, gesturing to the sad state of the room. Barking, Phoenix bounds up to Andy with a wag of her tail. Joe seems to blink out of the numb daze he was in, cracking a smile that is still a shadow of his usual but certainly progress. Crouching down, he croons to her until Phoenix, deciding Andy isn’t the best option, turns her sights to him instead. The brown and black speckled mutt whines happily, placing her paws on Joe’s shoulders causing him to fall back with a burst of laughter. 

“We can’t have a dog. They’re too conspicuous and difficult to travel with,” Andy insists. 

Nile takes a deep breath, all of her arguments already prepared in her mind. “Honestly, people pay attention to dogs more than their owners. It could be safe to say that having a dog will actually make us _less_ conspicuous. As for travelー” Nile shrugs. “If we forge some docs to make her a service dog we can go anywhere with her. And considering I got her to essentially function as a service dog for us, I see no harm in it.” 

“Service dog?” Nicky questions, the first sound out of his mouth all day. He’s standing beside Joe, studying the dog with a contemplative frown as she burrows her way deeper into Joe’s arms. 

Nile runs a hand through the afro she’s been growing out with Joe’s enthusiastic encouragement. “Like I said, y'all have some serious PTSD, and this shouldn’t come as a surprise.” She releases a humorless laugh. “Fuck, I certainly have some and this is only my second year with you all. Service dogs can be trained to support people during PTSD episodes, anxiety attacks, stuff like that.” Smiling softly, Nile kneels on the ground and breaks out into a full grin as Phoenix wiggles into her arms. “And dogs in general provide a comfort and support not found with weapons,” Nile finishes, nodding towards the destroyed wall with a pointed look. “You all deserve more softness in your lives.”

A heavy silence and fraught tension hangs in the air that Nile studiously ignores in favor of giving Phoenix some well-deserved rubs. After a prolonged moment Quỳnh walks up to the dog, staring her down like she’s facing an enemy combatant. “Phoenix?” Booker asks, coming up behind her.

Nile lifts her head to gaze around the room. “We rise from the ashes,” she says simply, finally earning a minuscule smile from Nicky. Crouching down, he runs a tentative hand down her back, eyes widening when Phoenix turns to lick across his face. 

“She is...affectionate,” Quỳnh states dubiously, like she is observing a frog doing a tap dance. 

“And...soft?” Nicky adds with equal hesitation as Phoenix turns her full attention to him. Booker remains silent, but his eyes are wide as he stares at the dog with open longing on his face. Nile can’t help but release a bark of laughter. These immortal warriors have been bowled over by an overenthusiastic dog. Who knew that’s all it would take? 

“I don’t like this,” Andy announces, slamming her labrys down. 

“Good thing you’re outvoted then,” Nile retorts, raising her chin mulishly. She and Andy glare at each other for a prolonged moment until Andy’s gaze flicks to a sight behind Nile. Turning, she grins victoriously. Phoenix is curled up in Quỳnh’s lap and the ancient warrior is smiling down at her, running fingers through the dog’s fur. Yep. They’re keeping her. 

The following weeks pass by in a whirl of chew toys, dog beds that are never used, and far too many treats. As expected, it took less than a day for Phoenix to become an irreplaceable member of the family, and she is now properly spoiled and adored by all. Well, all but one, but Nile knows it’s only a matter of time. 

“NILE! Your beast is gnawing on my boots again!” Andy hollers. 

“Maybe it’s her way of begging for love and attention from you,” Nile replies innocently as she continues to draw on her tablet. Growling, Andy stomps away, muttering darkly to herself. 

“Ignore her _piccola,_ you are no beast,” Nicky croons as he brushes lovingly through Phoenix’s fur.

“She’s big enough to hog the whole couch Nicky, I think you need a different name for her,” Joe says with a grin as he sketches beside Nile. 

“I refuse,” Nicky says obstinately from where his face is now buried in her fur. “She has been and will always be my little one.” 

Two weeks later, Nile walks into Andy’s room to steal back the socks the older warrior keeps sneaking away with when she freezes in the doorway, utterly delighted. There, slouched against the foot of the bed, Andy is passed out and drooling with her hand resting on Phoenix as the dog dozes in her lap. Pulling out a phone to snap a discreet photo (Nile has finally convinced Andy that there are encrypted ways of saving photos), Nile tip-toes back out of the room. She’ll get her socks back later. 

*******

It’s usually unexpected. You would think it would happen on birthdays and holidays and sure, it happens then too. But other days it’s just this: walking through the grocery store and passing her brother’s favorite cereal. 

Nile does the rest of the shopping in a daze, numb and cold and weighed down by grief. Joe and Nicky can tell that something’s changed but are kind enough not to bring it up. When they make it back, Nile goes straight to her room, shoves in her earbuds, wraps herself in a blanket, puts on the playlist filled with her brother’s favorite music, and sobs. Her grief is always simmering in the background, but most days it’s somewhat manageable. But now it’s on a full boil and overflowing, pouring out of her. 

She doesn’t hear the knock, doesn’t hear the whine, her music too loud. But soon a furry body wiggles its way underneath her blanket until it’s pressed against her chest, a wet nose prodding gently at her face until Nile lifts it enough for a soft tongue to begin licking away her tears. When she peers up, Joe and Nicky are standing in the doorway, the former’s eyes wide and worried as he shifts back and forth and the latter’s lips pressed into a flat line. She can see between the two men that the rest of the group is loitering awkwardly right behind them. Nile feels a flush of embarrassment at her outburst.

“Sorry,” she croaks, removing an earbud with a shaky hand. “Just一” she chokes on the words. 

Joe releases a wounded noise. “Never apologize for feeling, _habibti,_ ” he soothes, stepping closer before pausing. They all have been around each other enough to know that sometimes touch isn’t welcome when they’re feeling distraught. 

“What do you need from us Nile?” Nicky asks softly, placing a grounding hand on Joe’s shoulder. Overcome, Nile wraps her arms around Phoenix and buries her head in her ruff. Her emotions rage inside of her like a furious storm, grief crashing into gratitude, love colliding with loss. In the past, Nile often wished to be alone; seeking comfort from the immortals seemed like a betrayal to her family. But it’s been over two years now. She’s beginning to accept her new reality, though that doesn’t dull the pain. And finding solace in the warmth and love of her second family won’t erase the memories and her love of her first. 

Taking a shaky breath, Nile croaks, “Have I shown you _Lilo and Stitch_ yet?” 

Ten minutes later, Nile cradles a mug of hot cocoa, surrounded on every side by warm bodies while Phoenix curls up in her lap. Tears stream steadily down her face as Lilo lashes out in her grief, as Stitch feels lost and alone, as Nani’s world falls apart the harder she tries to hold it together, as the siblings have to say goodbye. No one comments on her sobs, even when they go from silent to gasping. Arms just grow tighter around her shoulders, around her legs. Fingers stroke through her hair and along her hands. Every touch grounding her as she’s swept away by her grief.

“Look Yusuf, it is you,” Quỳnh says quietly, pointing as Stitch puts on pieces of laundry to dance around in. Nile releases a sobbing laugh, an ugly sounding thing but one that makes Quỳnh smile proudly nonetheless. 

As the film ends, and Nile notes distantly that she’s not the only one sniffing in the room, she clears her throat. “Thanks,” she whispers, earning more squeezes as she does. 

“What do you need now _habibti?_ ” Joe asks kindly. 

Nile takes a shaky breath. “I probably shouldn’t keep on wallowing,” she says weakly, attempting to sit up straighter. 

But Nicky makes a dismissive sound. “We aren’t asking what you _should_ do. We’re asking what you _need.”_

Overwhelmed, Nile burrows deeper into Booker’s chest, the Frenchman pressing a soft kiss to her forehead and tightening his arm around her in response. “I’m an expert at shitty coping mechanisms, Nile. Being wrapped around people and a dog who loves you, drinking hot chocolate, and watching movies that make us cry is a new one for me but my favorite to date,” Booker says quietly with an awkward shrug.

“I’m surprised the hot cocoa isn’t spiked,” Nile jokes weakly.

Booker just releases a contemplative hum. “Thinking of quitting actually,” he says gruffly after a long silence, making Nile shoot up. 

_”What?”_ several voices say at once. 

Booker ducks his head awkwardly. “Nile has been not so subtly telling me about the various delicious mocktails that one can find at most pubs,” he mumbles. 

Pride bursts through Nile’s chest, briefly numbing her grief. Even though Booker has been working on himself, he still carries around that flask and drinks from it more than Nile would like. She knows that he needed to make this decision himself, so she’s only made passing comments and remarks that she hoped would sink in. Nile didn't think it would work. “Proud of you, Book,” she whispers, tucking her head under his chin. 

She can see Joe and Nicky staring at Booker with wide and somewhat watery eyes from where they’re sitting on the floor, clearly itching to hug Booker despite the lack of room to do so. Releasing an impatient sound, Nile clambers off the couch, ignoring Phoenix’s grumbles, and walks into each bedroom to grab a pile of pillows and blankets. “We’re moving to the floor,” she announces firmly as she reenters a room full of worried warriors. “Maximum cuddle potential.” Grinning, Quỳnh jumps off the couch and wastes no time adding cushions to the pile Nile is haphazardly throwing together. 

“You have the best ideas Nile,” Joe sighs happily as he burrows into the cushions, head in Booker’s lap and feet in Andy’s a few minutes later. Nile smiles softly from where she’s curled up between Nicky and Booker as Quỳnh leans against Nicky’s chest. A new wave of grief washes over Nile as she surveys the various limbs sprawled across each other, but she blinks away fresh tears as Phoenix wiggles back into her lap. The grief won’t ever fade, but if she can spend the harder days like this, Nile thinks she’ll be okay. “We’re gonna watch _Coco_ next,” Nile announces after she’s fairly confident that her voice won’t break. It still does. “Make sure you have tissues nearby.”

*******

“It’s...not horrible,” Booker says slowly, studying the glass of berry burlesque. Nile beams in response, knowing that to be an endorsement from the reserved man, before taking a sip of her pineapple cobbler. By unspoken agreement, the rest of the team has decided to swear off alcohol, including Andy. It was one of the first arguments they had in a while, Booker’s self-hatred rearing its head again. Booker doesn’t think it “counts” if he's not resisting the temptation right in front of his eyes while the group drinks around him, but the majority won out in the end. 

In compromise, the gang decided to go to a bar, so Booker would be surrounded by alcohol even if those closest to him weren’t drinking any. Nicky in particular was disapproving of the plan and is now watching Booker like a hawk. It’s always a tad unsettling when Nicky’s sniper skill makes an appearance outside of a mission. Except when Andy is in the kitchen. Then that sniper concentration is necessary if they don’t want another fire. 

“Another one of your wonderful ideas Nile,” Joe claims, raising his virgin paloma in a toast. (He giggled when he saw the name and immediately ordered it, before ordering Nicky a virgin cucumber gimlet. Because he’s 12 years old.) A slightly awkward silence falls on the group, no one wishing to spook Booker but not quite knowing what to say next. But that’s fine, because Nile came prepared. Pulling out a deck of cards, Nile grins. “Have any of you ever played BS?” 

A half hour later Nile is regretting her life decisions once again. “BULL FUCKING SHIT YOU ASSHOLE!” Joe yells, fumbling his giant hand of cards. Joe was a bit too enthusiastic with calling bullshit on everyone at the start and now has an overflowing hand. The perks of that of course is that he actually _can_ call bullshit on everyone now. Unfortunately, he has a slight vendetta against Andy after she called bullshit on one of his moves and he needed to pick up a third of the deck. 

Now Andy’s eyes grow flinty as she slowly gathers the card pile, staring Joe down as he does the same. “Maybe we should choose another game,” Nile says with uncertainty. 

“No this is quite a fun game,” Nicky says smoothly, looking at Nile with too innocent of an expression. Nile rolls her eyes. At the start of the game Booker and Nicky put their heads together and had quietly set up a bet, but no one knows what it’s for. 

“We’re gonna get kicked out if this goes on,” Nile hisses, leaning forward with a glare at the two scheming assholes. 

Booker takes a slow sip of his third mocktail. (Even if they end up getting kicked out, perhaps it will be worth it because the game was a suitable distraction from the whole ‘Booker is trying to quit drinking as Step 50 on his 100 Step Program of reducing his self-hatred and self-sabotaging tendencies.’) “The game goes on,” he announces firmly, making Nile fall back into the booth with a defeated groan. Copley’s gonna kill them. 

“It’s not my fault that Andy whipped out a knife!” Joe protests 10 minutes later as they all hurry back to their safe house so they can head to a new country. 

“You lost me 500 yen _amore mio._ I have no sympathy for you,” Nicky grumbles as he continues to stride away from his husband’s protests. Phoenix trots happily beside Quỳnh as she grips the dog’s leash loosely and hooks her arm through Andy’s. Now that they were able to get the proper certification, they can bring Phoenix anywhere and it’s proven to be useful, especially when it starts to rain unexpectedly. Quỳnh can go unresponsive in those moments, but when Phoenix places her paws on her and presses a nose to her face to ground her, Quỳnh is able to come back to them quicker. But currently, Quỳnh is too busy alternating between scolding and laughing at Andy to notice the light drizzle.

“Well. That was a colossal failure,” Nile says faintly, trailing behind the group. 

“No it wasn’t,” Booker cuts in, falling into step beside her, hands stuffed into his worn jean pockets. “And I’m not just saying that because I’m 500 yen richer.” He shoots her a small smile, hair flopping over his eyes. “Thank you Nile.” She ducks her head to hide her grin. Sure, Copley will chew them out for brawling in the middle of a pub but if it helped Booker take another step towards healing it was worth it.

*******

Nile carries the latest game attempt into the middle of their cramped safe house with bated breath. Finding a board or card game that doesn’t end with an appearance of weapons or a form of martial art has been harder to accomplish than she realized at first. Taboo and Codenames were eliminated quite quickly; Nile failed to take into account the fact that four of them have known each other for literal centuries and therefore have an unending well of shared knowledge. When Joe and Quỳnh were able to guess the words “horse,” “kilt,” and “pacific” from the clue “1247” during a round of Codenames, Nile threw the timer at Nicky which culminated in an impromptu wrestling match. Scrabble and Bananagrams were met with equal failure; most of the group existed before a formal spelling system was invented, so they would obstinately claim that a horribly misspelled word is valid because it might have been spelt that way back in “their day.” Assholes. Hopefully this latest attempt won't end in bloodshed like Monopoly did though. 

She places the board in the center of the tiny living room as the rest of the team sits around it. “This game is called Clue,” she announces, as Nile pulls out all of the game materials. “Mr. Boddy has been murdered一” 

“Mr. Boddy,” Joe snorts, bumping shoulders with a grinning Booker as Nicky and Nile roll their eyes. Meanwhile Andy and Quỳnh look a tad too excited at the prospect of murder. 

“You won’t be laughing if it turns out you killed him,” Nile remarks with a raised eyebrow. That seemed to get their attention. Smirking Nile nods before continuing solemnly. “Yes, there has been a murder during a lovely dinner party at poor Mr. Boddy’s mansion. Your job is to find out who did the crime, where they did it, and with what implement.” 

“The kitchen would make most sense. Easy clean up,” Andy muses. Nile rubs a hand over her face. Maybe a game involving murder wasn’t the smartest idea. 

There’s a brief fight over the characters which boded ill for the rest of the game, but eventually it settled so that Joe was Ms. Scarlet, Quỳnh was Mrs. Peacock, Andy was Colonel Mustard, Nicky was Professor Plum, Nile was Mr. Green, and Booker was Mrs. White. Of course, when Andy spotted the various weapons she scoffed and muttered, “Amateurs.” 

The game started tamely enough, Joe and Nicky delighting in the secret passages and spending more time and energy attempting to join each other in the same rooms rather than solve the murder. None of this was surprising. The tension truly began when Joe showed Quỳnh a card and she released a contemplative hum before turning to Nicky with narrowed eyes and making a note on her pad. It derailed from there. Quỳnh began fervently racing to the center of the board so she could make an accusation while everyone else frantically tried to narrow down their list, getting louder and more heated as they asked their questions. 

Ultimately Quỳnh confidently accused Nicky of killing Mr. Boddy with the candlestick in the library room. Ignoring Nicky’s mutterings that he would never use such an ineffective weapon, especially near books, Joe commenced a dramatic speech in which he bemoaned the depth of Quỳnh’s betrayal. Fortunately, he was interrupted by Phoenix deciding that the board looked like a perfect place to take a nap. 

Well, the game didn’t end in a brawl or with anyone being threatened by real weapons so Nile will call it a win. 

*******

“Nile! I need cover!” Andy shouts through the comms. 

“I’m pinned! They have a fucking sniper!” Nile grits out from where she’s crouched in her cover. 

“Fuck,” is the growled response. 

“Don’t worry, I’m on it. I have some unfinished business,” Joe says grimly.

“Joe, don’t! It’s too risky!” 

“Someone has to do it,” he replies, before switching off his comm. 

“Fuck,” Nile hisses. Through the darkness, Nile can just make out the position of the sniper as she takes a deep breath. They need a distraction so Joe can approach undetected. Rolling out of her cover, Nile shoots blindly before making a break for it in a frantic race to get cover. Just as she’s hit she hears, “So, we meet again.” 

Leaning against a wall as she recovers, Nile is close enough to see the sniper stiffen and turn to face Joe who is training a gun at him unwaveringly. “Seems so,” the sniper drawls in a lilting accent. “You gonna shoot me?” 

Joe takes a slow step forward. “You shot me. You shot my family. But that’s not why I’m gonna shoot you.” Joe takes a final step so their guns are against each other’s chests. “I’m gonna shoot you because you ate the last brigadero.” 

“As I have said _caro,_ I could have sworn you said you didn’t like them,” Nicky says smoothly, and Nile can hear his grin from all the way down there. Rolling her eyes, Nile raises her gun and shoots Nicky’s back so his light goes out. He and Joe release matching dramatic gasps. 

“Nile, how could you!” Joe exclaims, clutching his gun to his chest, the picture of betrayal. 

“You’re gonna make me lose my bet with Nicky and I _refuse_ to give up my music privileges for the week. Your man has no taste,” Nile informs him gravely. 

“Ah, but he has taste where it matters,” Joe retorts with a wink before his red vest blinks off from a well aimed shot by Quỳnh. 

“Will you two stop making eyes at each other? I wish to win this strange laser game,” Quỳnh sniffs before growling as Nile takes her out. 

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that!” Nile calls, running for higher ground before Nicky and Quỳnh’s guns are recharged. 

After several more failed and semi-failed board games, Nile realized that her mistake was attempting to keep weapons away from a group of immortal warriors. Laser tag has the right balance of competitive fun and non-lethal weapons to keep them all in line. 

Nile sighs as Andy jumps off a ledge and drops into a roll before shooting Booker. For the most part. 

In the end, Nicky’s team won by a slim margin, mostly because Nicky is a dirty cheat. 

“I will not feel ashamed that my husband finds me irresistible,” Nicky states archly. 

“You unbuttoned your shirt and sprawled against the wall like someone from a harlequin novel. Look at Joe! You broke him!” Nile protests, gesturing at her teammate who is staring dazedly at Nicky. Nicky sniffs and walks away with his head held high, thanking the game attendant like the sweet man he _pretends_ to be. “You’re not getting anywhere near my soundsystem you dirty cheater!” Nile calls, stomping after Nicky and dragging her useless teammate with her. 

“I am sorry I failed you Nile,” Joe sighs morosely. “My love has used my own poetic soul against me.” 

“I don’t think it was your _soul_ he was using Joe,” Andy remarks mildly from where her arm is slung around a smug Quỳnh’s shoulders. 

“As bad as they are on the same team, they’re worse against each other,” Booker remarks wryly, falling in step with Nile. 

Nile barks out a laugh, shaking her head. “Oh no, we’re gonna crush you guys next time. I’m just dressing Nicky in the baggiest clothes I can find and giving Joe blinders.” 

“Joe would find Nicky attractive even if that man was wearing a potato sack and drenched in week’s old blood,” Booker remarks dryly. "Remember they met during the crusades?” he asks with a raised brow. 

“Yeah? So?” Nile grunts as she replaces her vest and gun on the wall. 

” _So,_ Europeans had no sense of style or hygiene. And yet Joe _still_ fell for a dirty smelly Catholic who was probably wearing literal rags.” 

“Fuck you Booker,” Nicky says sweetly from where he’s being nuzzled by Joe. 

“Fuck,” Nile breathes, staring at them. “We’re screwed.” 

*******

Nicky was right. The more Nile trains with them the more she agrees: twin hook swords are the _best._ Nile grins as she spins one into a sweeping move before lashing out with the other. They’re hard and exhausting and complex but _so freaking cool._ Not to mention, their ability to disarm and incapacitate makes them far more versatile than a simple sword. 

Nicky nods approvingly as Nile finishes the training regime. “Far cleaner and smoother. You are coming along nicely, Nile.” She grins at the compliment. One thing she learned early on about Nicky is he doesn’t waste words, and he certainly doesn’t cater to people’s egos. If he tells her she’s improving, Nile knows that it’s true. 

Catching the rag he tosses to her, Nile wipes down her face. “So, what are the plans for the evening?” 

Passing Nile some water Nicky hums. “I thought we could make some pad thai and then play that game you wanted us to try.”

“Are you sure we should try playing a game that doesn't involve weapons?” Nile asks warily, recalling the time she foolishly thought Unstable Unicorns would be a good game to play with the least stable people she knows.

Nicky shakes his head with a smile. “Come Nile, we’re not that bad.”

Two hours later Nile glares at Nicky across from the now destroyed Ticket to Ride board. He shrugs and sniffs primly. “Booker should have known better than to attempt to intercept Joe’s obvious railway to Berlin.” 

“Thanks babe,” Joe says with literal heart eyes from where he’s currently pinned under Andy. 

Nile drops her head in her hands, shoulders shaking from restrained laughter. “I hate you all,” she gasps out, unable to hide her grin as she lifts her head. “Phoenix is the only one I can tolerate,” Nile claims, pointing to the dog happily gnawing on one of Andy’s boots. 

“That’s okay Nile, we know you only like Nicky for his cooking anyway,” Joe says cheekily, yelping as several train cars are thrown at him. 

Standing, Nile tilts her nose up. “Y’all gotta clean this place up. And if you don’t do it before I’m done making popcorn, I’m starting _Shrek_ without you,” she declares, grinning to herself as she hears a scramble of limbs behind her. Damn, sometimes it’s just too easy.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll give you one guess as to which Shrek character Quỳnh claims Joe acts like. Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated but never expected <3


End file.
